I’m having an identity crisis! I’m not who I thought I was. I’m not who anybody thinks I am! Let me explain.
I was born as Susan Dianne Enyeart. But I have used my middle name my whole life. So to make things easier, when I got married I went to the Social Security office and officially dropped Susan, took the “E” from Enyeart as my middle initial and have been Dianne E Gresham for 38+ years.
Recently I went to get my REAL ID and took all the documents needed. They all said Dianne E Gresham except for my birth certificate. When the guy at the DMV saw it he told me I have to use my birth name. I thought there must be a way around this, so I went to my state senator’s office to find out what form I needed. The lady there told me that my new ID and my birth certificate have to match and sent me to the Social Security office to get a new card.
Do you see my dilemma? My photo ID now says I’m Susan Dianne Gresham and that lady does not exist in my world! EVERY financial account, medical record, insurance document, car registration, charge account, voter registration, utility account, Medicare account, last will and testament, and my rewards accounts at Panera Bread and Chick-fil-A all say I’m Dianne E Gresham. And I haven’t mentioned all the accounts I have for Judy. What a mess!
I got to thinking that I’ve faced the same problem in my spiritual life. Every now and then some old sin that I thought was long gone takes on a new form and rears its ugly head. Some attitude or thought that was part of the old me comes to the surface and reminds me that I’m not who I want to be. The nature I was born with is still available for Satan to use if I let him. Becoming like Jesus is a life-long process that requires daily surrender. My real identity is in him. I’m so thankful that he knows my name (whatever it is) and loves me enough to never give up on me. Susan Dianne Enyeart Gresham is very blessed!
One thought on “Desperately Avoiding Susan”
Your statement “…I’m not who I want to be.” reminded me of a saying attributed to John Newton, “I am not what I ought to be. I am not what I want to be. I am not what I hope to be. But still, I am not what I used to be. And by the grace of God, I am what I am.” Yes, it’s the same John Newton that wrote Amazing Grace.